Update 7/19/2008

B Button: Penetrate Harder

Excerpts from The Alarmist's Guide to GTAIV

Eegra is making a run at out-Onioning yesterday's post with a great guide to GTA IV that should help any protest group get upset without needing to do any of that pesky research first.

With every protest group doing their customary job of bashing GTA without really understanding it, Eegra is doing a great public service by helping those enflamed protesters via some handy crib notes.

MISSION 12: Osama Bin Laden is a cool dude
This isn't a mission so much as an introduction to the Osama Bin Laden character. All you need to do is drive to Osama's rape cave and smoke some marijuana with him while listening to Hitler's speeches on cassette tape. Just remember to press the X button every time Osama asks for the bong and you'll be golden.

(The complete article is at this link.)

This already very handy post will, of course, get even more useful as soon as some crotchety old congresscritter gets a hold of it and realizes just what that confounded Grand Theft Automatic game really is.

Our best guess on when that will happen is in about 4... 3... 2.... 1.....

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